If this is all I allow you for now, will you still honor me in it?


I came to the Lord on February 8, 1981.  In less than a year God showed me something that I needed to see as Fred was quite the workaholic.  God gave man (Adam) a job before he gave him a wife. …The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him. "The LORD God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it.  Now the LORD God had formed out of the ground all the beasts of the field and all the birds of the air. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field.  GE 2:15-20

That was a monumental moment in my life as I thought Fred should be home with me at a descent hour, eat dinner with the family and help get the kids to bed; not to mention sit and talk with me for some duration.  I could never understand his need to be at work.  Don’t get me wrong.  If you are a man who has a good balance in his life and recognizes his need to be home with his family this is great!  Don’t stop doing this.  BUT, I had to get to a point of understanding and that is what the Lord gave me. Would our relationship have been easier and less stressful had Fred never worked late and came home on time every night. Absolutely, but remember, since I was striving to make the relationship great for the love of my God, I had to learn a way to change my attitude. The Lord gave me a pearl of wisdom that made it easier to change my attitude in order to make a difference in the relationship not Fred’s actions. 
RO 5:6 says; You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly.  The part of the verse I want you to see is “at just the right time”.  God has wonderful timing.  He knows what we need and when we need it.  At that crucial time in Fred’s and my reIationship I needed to learn that God gave Fred a job first and maybe this drive is instilled in him.  I now had the power and grace to give him a little slack.  I still have my moments of missing him in the evenings but I'm not a maniac anymore. Is there something your wife does that really drives you crazy?  Is it a trait that maybe God placed in her as a woman?  Then you need to recognize it for what it is and cut her some slack and allow God to work in her.  Maybe it's her need to talk.  I'm sure this drives many men crazy.  In David Clarke's book Men Are Clams Women or Crowbars he teaches how an event has not happened until a women has shared it.  Maybe you men need to respect that God given trait about your woman.  You can’t change her. If it something that needs changing God will do that. You can only change your response to and treatment of her. Take time out to listen to her.  I promise it will bless you in the long run.  

This is just one of many lessons the good Lord has given me over the years. I have shared many already in some of my stories and will continue to share others as we walk this journey together.  Please meditate on God’s Word and your marriage relationship and strive to see where your attitude makes the difference instead of waiting for your wife to “shape up”.  If Christ had waited for all of us to shape up we would still be lost in our sin and out of relationship with God.  What a God we have that He would give us His best when we were at our worst!  Should we do less for one another especially those we have promised?  I'll be praying for you gentlemen!

If you feel the need to share this story with your wife because of her attitude toward your working hours keep in mind that this was something the Lord showed me.  Please be patient if she doesn't respond.  We need time to allow God's Word to do a work in each of us.  You need to look to the Lord for areas you need to change; not run to your wife for ways you think she needs to change.  God will do that in His time.